absence.

being absent on such days can be tormenting.
especially for someone who doesnt skip sch or doesnt take mc for e slightest injury.

oh dang!
i tot she said its healed..
bt hw come it hurts now.

purr....
nia'

cintamu yang tak berhasil.

maaf, andainya aku tidak dapat menerima mu.
maaf, jikalau aku sering terkasar bahasa.
maaf, sekiranya engkau menderita.

aku mepunyai alasan.
seribu alasan.
untuk tidak menerima mu.

aku tidak mencintai mu.
tapi aku tidak membenci kamu.
aku tidak.

kenangan pahit bercampur manis,
kedua-duanya masih segar di ingatan.
aku tidak pernah lupa ketawa senda bersama.
tetapi kenangan pahit itu memang amat aku membenci.
tapi apa dayanya, ia masih menikam ku di jiwa..

adakah kenangan itu alasan aku untuk tidak dapat menerima percintaan mu.
ataupun,
memang tidak ada jodoh di antara kita.
sekiranya aku tidak memberi perhatian pada perjanjianmu,
mengapa kau masih mengejarkan ku?
apa, engkau tak mengerti bahawa aku memang tidak mencintai mu dan tidak dapat menerima cinta mu?
apa, engkau fikir aku sengaja menjauhkan diri dari mu?

oh god!

ur always calling me on the wrong time.
ur always intruding my personal space.
this is not the ferst time.
so stop thinking im getting rid of u if i dun entertain u.
ah perhaps i just dun bother.

ya ampun!

forget me ok..
just forget me...

nia'

the eye incident 23 july 2008.

the eye incident was excruciating.
like what we learn in physics,
the smaller the area, the bigger the pressure.
and yes,
the pressure was unbearable.
an ant sized acrylic dust could make ur eyes all teary and red.
i could feel it scratching the sclera of my eye.
and it has left a mark on my eyeball.

i thank the saviours of my eye for making a difference in my life.
i should be thankful that my corneal wasnt affected or i would be blind for life.
even if i could get a transplant, it would take year or more to get a donor.
i thank my parent for being there,
though, i wasnt really motivated at first.

well,
its recovering now.
and, i will make sure i'll take good care of it.
n most of all,
wear goggles while doing those dusty dnt stuff.


nia'

i was taken aback by the truth.

and, it kind of bothered me.

nia'

melancholy.

ya ampun!

my baby lg fell sick this morning.

and shes still not feeling any better now.

she keeps talking in her sleep but didnt wake up.

shes always partially awake.

its depressing you know.

i feel so useless.

i went to school walking like an idiot trying to revive my handphone.

i took my dad's extra phone which im so totally noob with n took it to sch just to find out that its dead.

i was being obscured during dnt just now.

i forgot that e posy resin and e harderner was both transparent.

and i told the technician e kids mixed up the labels.

baliidatun!

technician pun ikutkan saja.

it took me a few minutes to realise that evrything was actually what it should be.

i have this hatred feeling towards some issues that is not going in my way.

well, ive got no choice but to jus calm myself down.

nia'

wow!

haha..
hot sia the new tutor.
hes just so hot that i wanna bake cookies on him.
indon chi if im nt mistaken.
he saw my "stuck" look.
as in stuck in a question.
paiseh sia.
he said i was malas.
haha
well tats e fact
well i dunno why im smiling till now.
he made my day.
but oh well..
amath tution, yet i was thinking abt eng hmwk....


nia'

oh dear.

i thought u were my friend.

whom will hear me through my happiness n sorrow.

accompany me through my sleepless nights.

but why.

does only books amuse u?

mummy..

im bored talking to the air all the time.

i might get crazy.

well i already am now.


nia'