iskandar helmi.

sedap nama tu...

semakin hari, semakin suntuk.
semakin hari, diriku dilanda masalah.

penat diriku harus menimba ilmu, di dunia yang semakin membinasakan ini.
penat diriku harus melayani, harus menjagai hati orang lain.
kalau hati ibuku sendiri sudah payah untuk aku menjaga, apa lagi menjaga hati orang..

sakit mata ini menahan sebak.
sakit hati ini menahan rindu.
sakit diri ini menahan marah.

adakah kerana itu, hati ini mudah tersentuh?
adakah kerana itu, airmata ini mudah mengalir..?

aku penat.
aku penat melayan telata orang yang membinasakan dunia ini, orang yang meninggi-ninggikan peringkat dunia ilmuan.
aku penat!

sememangnya si anak kecil itu mudah menimba ilmu,
adakah harus untuk kamu meninggikan lagi keperingkatan mereka?

itu bukan mudah.bukan menyenangkan!
malah menyekik darah!
aku penat tau tk!?

AKU PENAT!!!


nia'

check this out.

haha...ok im getting a lil bit lame aft a depressing day in sch.
wenjie said i look scary just now.when i was depressed.
ya iyalah..damn fucked up with my unstable aftersch time table.
mana nak abes kan dnt..mana nk jaga hati guru..haiz..

well aniways the lame thing is..this picture below..


HAHA!!
my face on the bottle!!!
hahahha
farahd told me once abt the bottle, but i didnt get to see.
and just now.while doing dnt in e design studio, i saw the bottle..
n thank u jolene for lending me ur cam.haha..my useless memory card is useless or im jus noob to the fon...
sheesh..
ok aniways i shall continue on my dnt nw..
grr..
done so many pieces.
what if its wrong?
dam sucky i tell u..
im depressed by tat also.

the unfaithful saturday.

i was reluctant to leave home before 12.
but i had to for the sake of my results.

despite knowing they've already left.
i just wanted to rush home.
n i went home just to see the room being left empty again.

only god knows the pain im going through.
only god knows how much i miss them.

i missed the time when you told me abt u.
i missed the time when you asked me abt me.
i missed the time when we laugh abt how funny mum kicked her legs.
i missed the time when you drank from ur mum.
i missed the times when we watch the olympics n saw how hilarious and amazing usain bolt was.
i missed the time when we solve the jigsay puzzle.
n most of all,
i missed the times when u called me n run for me evrytime im at e doorstep.


well true enough,
happiness doesnt last.

it will come n go..
over and over again..
and we shall meet again in syawal.amin.


nia'

love dramas can just be as draggy and irritating.
yea..but i still watch them in e end.
shouting to e televion.its like as if e characters could hear me.
sheesh..
well anyways..i was just browsing thru my sister's digi cam..
n i found this photo..i tink it looks nice..sheesh! haha

i love fruits. from apples to durians. fruits from kampung to supermarkets. i love them all. fruits are generally high in fiber, water and vitamin C. some people i know dont really like fruits. weird. cuz fruits can reduce the risks of getting illnesses such as cancer and so one. some fruits also helps in getting smooth complexion. but obviously fruits arent the only way out. thats why theres medication and all. like vegetarians. they dont eat meat. but they replace e nutritional values of meat with green leaves and various types of nuts. well, i dont really have a problem with vegetarians or people who doesnt eat fruits maebe its because that is just how their body works, without fruits.


im getting all fruity..yea i know..random post from me.
check it out at e bottom..
that is one of the fruit that i love and tat fruit never fails to drip its juices on me.

setiap kali aku mendengar lagu ini,
hatiku bagai digegar.
digegar dengan kenangan lalu.
terasa sedih..
terasa pilu..

aku mula merindui yang lepas.
walaupun pahit.
aku tetap merinduinya.

mungkin,
pada waktu itu..
terlalu banyak yang telah ku lalui dalam hidup.
mahupun social ataupun personal.

pelik perasaan ini..

nak kata aku keseorangan sekarang..tidak.
nak kata aku diteman..tkdela gtu menggetarkan.

hmmm

apesal agaknye ehk...
mungkin lagu ini terletak di celah2 lipatan kisah lepas ku..=)



nia'

my msn is fine nw.

but having known tat i gt a C for my malay is still tormenting.

wats adding to the pain is tat my PROTRACTOR IS GONE!!!

i suspect someone took it. o.O




nia'

oh shuts!
my msn messenger has gone wild.
to tink again..thank god!
cuz i just needed to be away frm chatting...
gotta study man...




missed.


nia'

its beating faster den ever.
its twitching unusually than always.

whats happening?
no..
i dun trust this.
bt its inevitable.
gosh..

sememangnya, perasaan rindu ini mempunyai suatu erti..
aku tidak akan hiraukannya.
malahan,
aku juga tidak akan melarikan diri darinya...

sememangnya, perasaan ini adalah cinta..
aku akan mendiam diri..
kerna aku takut ia tidak akan menjadi realiti..


i wonder how stressing and lonely my september will be.
but, if thats for our good sake..i dont mind the challenge.
"Selagi daya hatiku ini

akan tetap ku menyayangi

duka tiada ku peduli

bila rindu membelenggu"

nia'

sheesh!
can i just fly off to KL n hug my nieces n nephew?


no.



nia'

hate.

i hate it when u touch me.
i hate it when u dun respect me.
well at least respect my belongings.
i hate it when u put words into my mouth.
i hate it when u assume too much abt me.
i hate it when u ask.
i hate it when u just grab it.
i hate it when u crossed me.
i hate it when u keep on telling me.
i hate it when u put me in a spot.
i hate it when u make me wait for no damn reason.
i hate it when u dunt seem to understand me even if i use simple eng.
i hate it if u dun listen to me.
i hate being questioned abt my personal stuff.
i hate pple intruding my personal space.
i hate it when u dont ask wat i want.
i hate it when u leave me.
i hate to be sad.
i hate to be hated.
i hate the feeling of lost.
i hate missing someone.
i hate myself for hating u tat much.

im sorry.
i hate too much.


nia'

marks.

the painful yet exciting volleyball game had left marks on the strong right hand..cey..

the avengeful past had left behind a mark of misery till today..

the birthmark i had since i was a baby is still with me now..yea..hmm duh?

the ugly marks or shud i say scores on my reports card is still there..unless i liquid them away..XD

MARKS..


hot stuff called me just now. XD



nia'

so not..

ur attempt to imitate my giggles and laughs was a fiasco.
so drop the idea to do so.
as it might sound uglier.



a lady was waiting for hot stuff.
and that was tormenting for me.


haha..
sheesh....
i feel so pathetic.

i nid love.
but im just out of love now.


nia'